Expecting!!!

It's just starting to hit me. I'm going to be a mom. I can truly say I'm an expectant mom. What does this really mean? I know I have much to discover and learn. We are nearing the finish line of our part and heading towards the most difficult waiting period. In so many ways, we are now officially "expecting parents."

As of today, our paperwork is finished. Our profile books are here and waiting to be examined. Our last class (CPR/First Aid) will be on Saturday. My individual interview with our case worker is tomorrow. Ken's is on Thursday. Our case worker will come to our home on Monday to interview us together and survey our home. She is a very sweet lady and knows that we are still in the process of moving in. I am nervous though I have no reason to be. Bethany desires to match children with their forever families. Still, I wonder if I'll measure up. Since it is the Christmas season, I wonder if Mary felt this way too?

After Christmas, we join the list of couples waiting to become parents. What will this mean for us? When will we become parents? After attending the class two weekends ago, I know our story will be different from everyone else.

We are excited, yet also being realistic. We could be waiting for a while, but it could also happen quickly. Ken and I do have some fun dreaming and planning. Tonight at dinner we were discussing "child proofing" the house which still has boxes in every room. We also are starting to research car seats and strollers. We'll be purchasing the car seat system in January as we don't know when we'll get "the call." The nerves and anticipation are much greater than waiting for Christmas morning though I was (and am) the child who woke up at 3 or 4 am ready to open presents.

I love this time of year, and though we don't have a Christmas tree or decorations up this year, I feel like I can relate to the true Christmas story more than ever. Mary was an expectant mother: not knowing the full story, but fully trusting in her heavenly father. Joseph was an expectant "adopting" father: this child was not from his body but wanted and loved. The shepherds were not expecting, but when they heard the news, they did not hesitate but ran to see what God had planned. The Wise Men had to wait to meet this expected child, but they were patient, diligent, and obedient. My prayer this Christmas season is that we all may be joyfully expectant and trusting that our loving God has our story perfectly planned and that we'll be as obedient and ready as those in the Christmas story were.

Our Adoption Training

It's been way too long since I've blogged, but with travels, packing moving, packing, moving, and adjusting to being in the United States, blogging has dropped off my radar screen.

Since we are nearing the finish line of the home study and hoping to be put on the waiting parents's list by the end of the year, I figured it was time for an adoption process update.

With all the craziness of our new life in the US, we did carve out time to finish our paper work and create our profile book. What a relief to have these checked off the list. The profile book was a labor of love. We experienced all kinds of emotions while creating this book: I doubted my creativity, laughter as we looked at pictures, angst as we couldn't download or find pictures, heartfelt sadness and nerves as we wrote our letters to the birth parents (the hardest letters ever to write), and relief as we sent the book of to be printed. The copies are in the mail already and we'll receive them next week. I'll be thrilled to hand them to Becky, our adoption advisor.

Yesterday we crossed another big hurdle. Adoptive parents have a certain number of training hours that are needed. We attended the Bethany Domestic Infant Adoption Training yesterday. Most of the families there are behind us in the process as Bethany was extremely generous and let us move ahead on the adoption process without having taken the training until yesterday. The day was more than we expected and harder than I expected for many reasons. We heard from an adoption attorney who was extremely humorous. The director of Bethany's Seattle Office then shared about the Home Study process. Again, we knew most of what she shared. Then, the emotional part began. First, two young birth mothers shared about their experience giving birth and choosing adoption. Inspiring young women, but their stories were extremely emotional for me. Then we heard from an adoptive family, birth mom, and birth grandma who shared about their unique situation. I found it interesting how each birth mom and adoptive family came up with their own definition of openness. I believe that gave Ken and I more confidence that we filled out our paperwork correctly for us.

Ken and I went out for lunch which was very healthy (well, not the food, but the conversation). We both needed to re-focus and check in with the other. The afternoon started with a video on infertility. For me, this was the most challenging part of the day. It broke open some wounds and brought up some issues that I still need to deal with. All good, but very hard to process. All I know is that I'm still healing and processing and that that is ok. After this video we heard a Bethany Oregon Counselor share about the psychological development of adopted children. We had a good discussion about the when, where, and how to share with your child about theri adoption. Being a teacher and loving child development this was very interesting. Then we had three adoptive parents come in with their precious little girls (one year and younger) to share their stories. Two families adopted from Oregon, one from Bellingham. All amazing couples and hearing their stories was emotional (again) and encouraging too.

We finished the day looking through profile books and filling our evaluation forms. I left feeling pretty wiped out but feeling that adoption is totally right for us.

So, where are we in the process. Here's the low down:

1. CPR/First aid class - December 18.

2. In-home interview and study with Becky - after we take our CPR class and around Christmas and New Years.

3. Checking to make sure everything is in - end of December / early January.

4. Our profile books are sent out. Bethany's Seattle Office keeps 4, Bellingham gets 1, Portland gets 1, and eastern Washington gets 1.

5. We wait and pray, wait and pray, wait and pray.

6. We start getting ready. First - purchasing a car seat. Then - outfit to take baby home it, crib, diapers, etc.

7. From what we heard yesterday, it could happen quickly or it could take up to 20 months. There are many parents on the waiting list right now so Bethany really tries to help those who have been waiting a long time.

8. We are contacted by Bethany that a young woman likes our profile book and wants to meet us.

9. We meet the young woman. We won't be saying much about this meeting, the process, or her story as we need to honor her privacy and ours. Please realize that you can ask questions, but we may not be able to answer.

10. We're contacted if it's a match or not. It is her decision first though we do have the right to say "no" if we don't feel the situation is right for us. (i.e. her idea of the openness plan)

11. We wait for the birth. We may spend more time with the birth mom; we may not.

12. The birth - Our involvement depends on the wishes of the birth mom. We are most concerned about her health and welfare.

This is a brief overview of the process as we understand it so far. Everyone's story is different and from what we heard yesterday, definitely God ordained.

Will you continue to pray with us and for us and the process.

1. For the birth mother - health, wisdom in this most difficult decision, and that if she doesn't know the Lord that this may be a catalyst.

2. For the birth family - we've only started to realize that adoption doesn't just affect the birth mother and adopting parents. There are grandparents, siblings, friends, and many others who are deeply affected by this. Several girl's yesterday mentioned how they lost friends and were "disowned" by family members because of their brave choice.

3. For the baby - health, development, safe delivery, and that this child will realize how loved he/she is from day one.

4. For us - peace, patience (a scary one to ask for), good communication (we both process differently), and wisdom as we prepare. Most of all, we desire that God will be honored through this process.

This is a bit of a longer update. I wanted to get this done before we start moving into the house tomorrow, Dec, 6. Updates will be coming more regularly as things are moving quickly now.

The next blog may be about car seat shopping. We'd love to hear your suggestions and research.